This movie sucks more than all the vampires combined in True Blood ( a review we will get to). What can I say. The comedy is shtick and I wanted to about kill the mom and the twin robots. The fight scenes were so fast moving that I couldn't even see what was going on. I even had good seats in the overly packed theatre. No one should have been in there yet the movie has somehow grossed more millions than many countries' GDP.
DON'T EVER have Optimus Prime combine with some old ass robot. He is a Prime, he doesn't need that. It is like adding diet coke to a 12 yr Islay single malt scotch. Apparently Micheal Bay (synonymous with crap) figured this out right at the end because the final fight scene which one would expect to last pretty long since it was a 2 1/2 hour movie, only last about one minute. Guess ol' Prime couldn't handle Megatron, but Megatron's boss is no problem.
Hey, since when do human weapons have effect on Decepticons? I thought that that was why we needed the Autobots? If a simple rail gun can shoot from miles away and absolutely destroy the biggest damn Decepticon I have ever seen, why the need for the Autobots?
Where is Megan Fox? The only saving grace is getting to see her having her ass hang out over a motorcycle, if it was 2 1/2 hours of that I would give the movie five Eiffel Towers.
Finally, if I was a parent and took my kid to see this I would have been pissed. Granted it is PG-13, but so are Harry Potters. This is catered to young kids and there was quite a bit of cussing and sexual innuendo, that was not very innuendoish. I am pretty sure I caught a F-bomb in there as well. Was that really needed?
Overall I give the movie one Eiffel Tower, and it get one just cause it is called Transformers and I still own my more than meets the eye sheets from when I was five.
1 comment:
The tagline for the movie is Autobots Roll Out. I believe we should all do ourselves a favor and roll out of the theater before wasting 2 and 1/2 precious hours of our glorious summer. I'd rather watch Shia LeBouf give John Turturro a hand job than this crap. Also, thanks again Michael Bay for reassuring the human race that you are incapable of making a solid movie adaptation of many of our favorite childhood past time. If Decepticons were real, I hope they track you down and rid our planet of your horrendous movies.
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