Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

***** Let me just say that this critique was extremely hard to come up with which is ironic due to the nature of the discussion at hand.

Many of you probably know Georgie Porgie as the young lad who is famous from the above title, however the source of this poem comes from George Villiers, a duke of Buckingham. He was a man who was known for his scandals with many a royal ladies and even a few of the gents (King James I).

What the above poem does not tell you is why Georgie Porgie made the girls cry. Yes he kissed them, but the reason why he made them cry is due to the fact that after he had wooed the ladies to his posh quarters and they had begin to lay together (in the biblical sense) he would have a case of the limpies.


Now I can not speak for the authors of this blog having any experience with Georgie Porgie, for we are French and as the world knows to be fact, the French are the worlds best lovers. This statement might be argued by the Greeks, but if they make love like they run their economy I feel we have little to worry about. We the French are as Michael Jackson said "Lovers, not fighters." And so like Michael and the Fab Foursome we will battle the Greeks for top honors.

There are however many a strong and strapping you lads who unfortunately become afflicted the Georgie Porgie syndrome, mostly after partaking in a few too many libations. These young gents (and the key is young, for it is expected that anyone over the age of 65 who collects Medicare experiences the phenomenon on a regular basis) are so hellbent on performing the horizontal mambo that despite lacking a key ingredient the proceed to "stuff it".

If you are still not getting the picture allow me to be blunt. These gents are trying to put a not so hard skin flute into what is hopefully a rather tight area. It does not work this way, yet man is a persistent beast. I have even heard of such events as a Georgie Porgie Orgy

I do not know why this occurs time and time again, maybe because the XY half of the world has too much pride to be stopped at this point. However, all of the women out there implore these men to humble themselves and ask for directions and try not to prolong an already embarrassing situation.

Overall I give a Georgie Porgie one Eiffel Tower cause it is not fun for anyone involved.





P.S.
Ladies if you are at Tony's on a Wednesday night your chances of encountering this unfortunate marvel will be increased exponentially.