~John Madden (I couldn't find the audio, but if you don't believe this is an actual quote, watch Madden say "bootleg" a million times in this clip.)
Retirement=RidiculousBrett Lorenzo Favre's story begins where most do, with retirement. Okay, a quick overview of his career to this point is probably necessary. He was drafted by Atlanta in '91, then traded to the Packers the following year. Favre was at his peak from '95-'97, the Packers also won a Super Bowl in that stretch. During his first MVP season, Favre struggled with an addiction to Vicodin and went to rehab for pain pill abuse. In 1999, he checked himself into rehab again, this time for alcohol abuse. From 2000 to 2007, he threw a lot of interceptions, mulled retirement a few times and then went to rehab again (not really).
On March 4, 2008, after years of wishy-washy waffling and flip-flopping back and forth, Favre finally retired from football. An emotional presser followed and he could barely speak a word without breaking down. The finality of it all crushed him as he realized it was truly, officially over. Not surprisingly, his retirement lasted about as long as Too Short's (or any rapper for that matter), because three months later he was ready for a comeback. A drama filled, soap-opera went on all summer between "Number 4" and the Packers. Green Bay even reportedly offered him a 20 million dollar bribe to stay retired.
In spite of all that, Brett (and a media circus) reported to training camp. Once there, Favre realized he'd become the crazy ex-girlfriend who gives you a gun rack as a birthday present. The Packers didn't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. In other words, Green Bay didn't want Favre as their quarterback anymore. The spectacle continued as he demanded a trade, preferably to the Vikings. Packers GM Ted Thompson probably laughed until he cried when he heard that. Hell would freeze over before he would trade Favre within the division. So on August 6, just over five months since that weepy press conference--the Green Bay era ended again--with Favre being traded to the New York Jets.
New York was coming off a 4-12 season and expectations weren't that high coming into 2008. But The Jets started fast with the Ol' Gunslinger at the helm, and even lead their division with an 8-3 record. Favre (looking somewhat surreal in Jets green) was back doing what he does best--playing the game like a kid on the school yard. There he was, throwing touchdowns (a personal record, six against the Cardinals) and jubilantly running around like he'd just won the Super Bowl. His typical song and dance was in full swing and New York fans were eating it up.
Not since the days of Urban Cowboy had country been this cool in The Big Apple, and everyone seemed mesmerised by his southern charm. Then the season took a turn for the worse. The Jets lost 4 of their last 5 games and Favre was horrible in that stretch. He threw 9 interceptions to only 2 touchdowns, New York missed the playoffs, and coach Eric Mangini was fired. As for Favre, he did what everyone expected--he retired for the second time. Brett cited his sore shoulder and torn bicep injury as the main reason for his late season collapse and re-retirement, "How surgery would affect my play at 39, I have no idea. It was not something I was willing to risk." No teary-eyed presser this time for Favre as he quietly walked away from the game.
The Jets released Favre in April 2009, then he had arthroscopic surgery (I thought he wasn't having surgery?) on his shoulder in May. Early rumblings of Favre signing with Minnesota began in June. However, Favre's agent Bus Cook, said there had been no contact with the Vikings. By late July, Number 4 was throwing to kids at a local high school in Mississippi, and the whispers of a comeback grew louder. But he shot the rumors down, informing the media he would stay retired. Three weeks later on August 18, Brett Favre returned again (yawn), signing a 2 year deal with the Minnesota Vikings.
The Silver Fox
Could it be the Ol' Gunslinger never planned on retiring? This is purely speculative, but maybe he retired so the Jets would release him, then he'd be free to sign with the Vikings; an arch rival of the Green Bay Packers. Minnesota was a team in the same division, and the team that Ted Thompson refused to tr
ade Favre to a year before. Was Brett Favre hell bent on revenge? No, not this country bumpkin. He'd play the game for free, he's just out there drawing plays in the dirt, having fun. Favre only wanted the best chance to win a championship, and it just happened to be with the Vikings. Yeah right...Minnesota needed a quarterback who could utilize all their offensive talent, Favre wanted to get even with the Packers; it was a perfect fit.Favre got his swagger back playing for the Vikings, and they thrived with him at quarterback. He had one of his best statistical seasons--highest passer rating ever and he only threw seven interceptions (unheard of in his career). Favre was whoopin' it up and having a good ol' time with the boys. Jared Allen even gave him a new nickname, "The Silver Fox", Favre was back on top. But most importantly during this "dream season", Minnesota beat Green Bay in both meetings. The Silver Fox accomplished his goal of sticking it to the Packers. Now, with the division title and a first round bye, the Vikings were poised for a glorious playoff run. And after steamrolling the Cowboys, Brett Favre was on cloud 9...
He somehow made it cool to be tragically hip. However, at the NFC Championship in New Orleans, the Silver Fox turned back into the Ol' Gunslinger. He threw away the Vikings Super Bowl hopes, with a bonehead interception in overtime. This was Favre's legacy; in the biggest moment, at the most crucial time, he self destructs (see: 2007 NFC Championship game, he threw an INT against the Giants in overtime as well). The question now was, "Would he comeback again?"
Things Fall Apart
After the New Orleans loss, the "Silver Fox" looked like a three-legged dog. Could Favre endure one more grueling season? The obligatory, "will he or won't he" discussion had already began. Brad Childress went down to Mississippi to woo him, even still, Favre was unsure about returning. Once again, he was holding a franchise hostage with his indecisiveness. Favre was on the fence all of training camp and most of the preseason, until his teammates took action. Jared Allen, Ryan Longwell, and Steve Hutchinson took a private jet to Mississippi, and basically begged the Ol' Waffler to play. Favre probably wished the Big Bopper was there to to take his seat, because the 2010 season would be the equivalent of a plane crash during a snowstorm in an Iowa cornfield (or like a long Don McLean song).
The sequel is never as good as the original, and this Viking season was no exception. Favre's favorite target, Sidney Rice, was already out for a few months with a hip injury. When Brett finally did get on the field, he was completely out of sync with his receivers. Minnesota got off to a horrible start, going only 2-5 in its first seven games. Then the bombshell dropped.
In October of 2010, a story came out on the website Deadspin, alleging that in 2008, Brett Favre had left voicemails and sent obscene texts (dick pics) to a Jets sideline reporter named, Jenn Sterger. Maybe Brett Favre wasn't the demi-god that so many fans worshipe
d? Was he just some sleazy old dude sexting women? No denial from him, and a rumored teary apology to his teammates only made things worse. Housewives that once adored him began to permanently focus their crushes on Tom Brady. Preachers could no longer include Favre in their Sunday sermons. Fathers had to explain to their sons what "sexting" was...the "Ol' Dick Flasher's" empire was crumbling. In Favre's defense though, Jenn Sterger is insanely hot. When I first saw her picture, my first instinct was to somehow send her a picture of my dick. I sent a mass text photo of Ms. Sterger to my friends, and asked, "Would you send her a dick pic?" The responses ranged from, "I think I already did" and "I would give my left nut to be with her", to some friends just impulsively sending pictures of their genitalia to me (thanks for ruining my life by the way). The NFL investigated the whole scandal and in the end, fined Favre $50,000 for not fully cooperating with them throughout the process. Then in January of 2011, two Jets team massage therapists, claimed the "Sleazy Fox" tried to setup a threesome with them via dirty texts. Nothing came of these accusations either, but one thing about Favre's stint in New York was now clear: There wasn't a "happy ending" on the field or on the massage table.Even with the season in shambles, Favre remained the fiery competitor he'd always been throughout his career. That is, until a trio of bone-crushing hits nearly killed him. In week 8, Myron Pryor of the Patriots was the first to put a hefty dent in his impenetrable armor. Favre played through the pain for the next few games, then in week 13 against the Bills, he was completely smashed by Arthur Moats. The resulting shoulder injury from this hit, subsequently ended his iron man streak of 297 consecutive games played. Then (as a possible act of god calling for Favre to retire) the Vikings season completely caved in, when a massive blizzard collapsed the Metrodome roof. Minnesota actually had to (wait for it) play a home game in Detroit! After sitting out a week, "The Really 'Ol Gunslinger" decided to try and tough his way through one more start. The Metrodome was still unusable so the Vikings next home game against the Bears was played at The Univerity of Minnesota. The outdoor stadium's field was basically an ice-skating rink and Favre was no D.B. Sweeney ( The Cutting Edge reference). And as it so happened, the final play of Brett Lorenzo Favre's 20-year career came to a violent end at the hands of a rookie, Cory Wootton (his first NFL sack).
Favre watched the final two games of his career as a broken down old man from the sidelines. Below is the last known footage of what some would call, "the greatest", while others might say "the creepiest" quarterback of all-time.
