Got Milk? Better Yet...Got Wood?

And the answer is yes! I do have wood! So much in fact that I would like to trade some of my wood for some of your wheat, sheep, brick, or ore? If you have no idea where I am going with this I do believe that Klaus Teuber himself would be rolling over in his grave (which would be hard to imagine considering he is still alive and kickin'). My friends, I am speaking of one of the most fantastically fun board games to ever grace the likes of even Ms. Debbie Kim. This game that I am speaking of is Settlers of Catan. Haven't heard of Settlers huh? Ever heard of a little game called RISK? Sure you have! Well, this is still getting us nowhere since Settlers and RISK are about as similar as Nutty Bars and Swiss Cake Rolls. Sure, Settlers and RISK are both board games, just like Nutty Bars and Swiss Cake Rolls are both Little Debbies. However, one seems to be a little bit sweeter than the other. So, consider if you will a Swiss Cake Roll is to Settlers as a Nutty Bar is to RISK. I have come to find that Settlers is just simply better, tastier, and comes with a creamy-filled happy ending. RISK is indeed a great time and a favorite childhood treat, yet it is a lot longer, comes with an unhappy ending, and just down right makes you go nutty.

Back to the subject at hand. Butt Sets! Lost you again? Have no fear, (Butt) Settlers of Catan, like its delectible friend RISK, is a game of strategy and world domination. It was developed in 1995 by Germany's most respected dental technician, Klaus Teuber. Soon after, little to Teuber's knowledge, he would be known to many as the Santa Klaus of Germany; providing hours of endless entertainment to boys and girls, of all ages, all over the world. But one board game was not enough! He eventually got board of settling Catan and decided to add to his repertoire. Enter in Seafarers of Catan, Cities and Knights of Catan, and Catan: Traders & Barbarians. Now, I will not bore you with descriptions of these games, considering I do not know one single thing about any of them. Fortunately, I do know that because of his accomplishments, Germany set aside a week in the month of October (the week after Oktoberfest to be precise), for our beloved Klaus. Klausteuberfest! After a week of boozin', all anyone wants to do is shack up in the deepest, darkest cave possible, away from the lagers, lushes, and lederhosens. What a better time to reminisce about all the crazy times had during Klausteuberfest with a fun-filled game of Settlers. I call dibs on expansion pack green!

Now, for the very few of you who have never experienced a game of Butt Sets, I will give you a crash course on how to play. Again, like RISK, it is a dice game and the object is to obtain resources in order to build roads, settlements, and cities. For instance, to build a settlement, if I have some sheep, wheat, and brick then all I would need is to muster up some wood and I'm good to go. Unfortunately, I do not have wood :( Luckily my friends Pepe, Alan, and Gerard all have massive quantities of wood! This just made me really excited! Now I can trade some of my ore for a fresh piece of wood. "Ore you going to give me some of your wood for some of my ore?" Deal! The trade is complete and a settlement is made. Now it is time to turn this settlement into a city. If you by chance have three ore and two wheat then, take it Beyonce.....
Lemme, lemme upgrade my settlement into a city. Fantastic! You have got the hang of it now. All you have to do now is build an army, a long-ass road, buy some development cards, and victory is yours. So, do yourself a favor. Go out and enjoy a nice, relaxing game of Butt Sets. After one game, you'll be crawling back for more.

Obviously, Settlers of Catan will be receving 5 Eiffel Towers. In fact, I have so much wood that I will build 5 miniature Eiffel Towers. Funny to think, I still have some leftover wood!?